bent abeha
05-24-2008, 06:03 PM
When Grandma Goes To Court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question
if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded,
'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
and you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when
you haven't the
brains to realize you'll never amount to anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do
you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, ' Why ye s, I do.
I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.
He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship with anyone, and his
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
Not to mention
he cheated on his wife with three different women.
One of them was your
wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench
and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you both to the electric chair[
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question
if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded,
'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
and you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when
you haven't the
brains to realize you'll never amount to anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do
you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, ' Why ye s, I do.
I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.
He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship with anyone, and his
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
Not to mention
he cheated on his wife with three different women.
One of them was your
wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench
and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you both to the electric chair[